Confidence isn't what you think it is

Most people think confidence is a feeling. It’s not.

Confidence is evidence.

The reason you don’t feel confident isn’t because you’re broken. It’s because you don’t have proof. Proof you can do the thing. Proof you’ve done it before. Proof you’ll figure it out again.

That’s it.

If you’ve never run a marathon, why would you be confident you can run 42km? You can hope. You can wish. You can “visualize.” But confidence doesn’t come from affirmations. It comes from stacking undeniable evidence.

Here’s the formula:

Reps → Competence → Confidence.

The more reps you do, the better you get. The better you get, the more confident you feel. Confidence follows competence. Always.

Why most people never get it

They think they need confidence before they start. Wrong.

They wait to “feel ready.” But readiness doesn’t show up. Action does. Then competence. Then confidence. In that order.

You don’t need confidence to start. You need courage. Courage is acting without proof. Confidence is what you earn after.

Stop outsourcing your proof

Too many people rely on external validation—likes, comments, applause—to feel confident. That’s rented proof. The moment it’s gone, so is your confidence.

Real confidence is built privately. It’s when you do the work no one sees. The 5am sessions. The late nights. The silent discipline. That’s your bank account of proof. And when you step into the room, you don’t need to say you’re confident. Everyone can feel it.

Tactical ways to build it

1. Do hard things daily. Small wins stack fast. Cold shower. Tough workout. Hard conversation. Every rep is a deposit.

2. Keep promises to yourself. Most people don’t lack ability. They lack trust in themselves. Every time you say you’ll do something and don’t, you withdraw proof. Keep the promises—no matter how small—and watch confidence skyrocket.

3. Seek friction. Comfort feels good but gives you nothing. Friction feels bad but gives you proof. Every obstacle you lean into becomes part of your proof bank.

4. Track the reps. Journal your progress. Don’t let your brain trick you into forgetting wins. Written evidence compounds belief.

The truth

Confidence isn’t about ego. It’s not about “believing in yourself” with no basis. It’s about creating so much undeniable proof that believing is the only logical outcome.

So if you want more confidence, stop waiting. Start stacking evidence. Build competence. Earn the right to feel unshakable.

Confidence is not given. It’s built. And it’s built by you.

If you want to go deeper, and learn from a master, attend our upcoming workshop and unlock that inner courage towards a more confident you.